dead or alive

My daughter Ivy and I were talking about my feeling that I'm getting better, that I'm not ill, that I'm doing well  And all of that is true but also true is that I have a terminal illness for which the prognosis is very discouraging; 8% are alive after 5 years.  Not the best odds.

Her explanation is this; my body-mind, for lack of a better word, cannot know beyond what it knows in this moment. I feel good. I feel well.

My rational mind which knows all the other stuff cannot overcome the information coming from my body-mind.  Impossible. Perception is everything.

This process of having a terminal illness is very instructive for those not in such a place if they choose to see. It is vitally important to give oneself an opportunity to just be in the experience of the moment.  And since that is overwhelming of reason - it should be the best possible experience.

There is a reason to follow your passion and live a life fully committed. It is that this experience is really all you have.  Being reasonable is almost impossible.

But then I always felt that was true.

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